Toys distract children from understanding & learning to cope with their own feelings.
My son Sasha is shy of turning 3 1/2, he was an only child for 2 years until his little sister came along and disrupted his mommy and me time.
At first I thought he would adapt but as time went by and she is now 14 months, it has become a source of anxiety. Having to constantly observe and mediate their play fearing that someone will get pushed, stepped on or run over by their little grocery cart.
Getting back to my story…
Being a mom is constantly trial and error, let’s see what technique or happy teaching words will help to promote more sharing and less pushing his sister until she falls flat on the floor by her brother and then loud cries ensues for the next hour…
Then something very unsual happened last week…
It was very frustrating to have a sea of toys on the floor and my daughter and I would accidentally walk on the little piece of wood puzzle the one with the plastic handle that sticks out, ouch! Okay, that’s it… The main complain I hear about toys from parents is that they have way to many, most of which are usually gifted from generous relatives. So I told my son it’s okay, you have too many toys and I understand that it’s difficult to “clean up”, so I will “clean-up” and put them all away in the closet.
Honestly, I thought he would scream
Nothing. He went to bed, partly happy that he did not have to clean up the mess, partly because he trusted that I knew what I was doing was the right thing (I was smiling when I said it hence his association to it being a “good thing”).
The next day, listen to this, he NOT EVEN ONCE asked or mentioned his toys. The next 2 days I didn’t hear a squeak about it and let me tell you that those were his favorite car toys that I had stored (well hidden in a drawer he couldn’t open) in the basement.
He was happy without toys and played with his sister.
The beautiful thing is that he found other ways to entertain himself.
He painted, he asked to color with crayons, he played with removeable stickers creating a story on backgrounds, he started to bike outside and we went to the playground and to see the trucks on numerous walks, he looked at some of our family photos, he took his scissor and cut tons of paper in tiny pieces, he looked out the window, he threw all the pillows from the sofa on the carpet, he played with his puzzles quite a few times….
Then at night, he wanted me to invent a story about a little boy that had no toys. Just a quick note, prior to this he asked for cars and little boys that had lots of toys. Moms, this is a great moment to add some teachable values in the story.
So you see, the morale of this story is that we, as parents complicate things. Little kids don’t need many toys and especially not the ones with flashy lights and loud music.
I’m no psychologist, but do observe the changes in behavior of my kids. I test out theories and tips. I read loads of parenting books and listen to podcasts with experts, etc. Your child is unique. Every child is different that is why it is incredibly MORE THAN EVER important to observe our kids and interact in helpful ways.
There is no failures here, you’re moving in the right direction by trying something new and eventually find something good for you and your child. Try something, adapt it to your child, adjust accordingly and keep a mental note of what works for you.
Need a few ideas of how to deal with too many toys in your home?
- Rotate the toys. Ask him or her to choose 5 or 7 toys (very important that you give them that sense of control by letting them choose). Store everything else where they can’t access it on their own, what they can’t see, they won’t ask.
- A child will develop his creativity, it’ll declutter your home, make it easier to “clean-up” and not feel overwhelmed by strong emotions.
- They usually get used to this new routine if you maintain it, don’t be flexible, stay strong.
- They want another toy then they need to do an exchange, they give you 1 then get to choose one and so on. I only do this every few days IF he asks for it.
Other ideas to give your little ones new toys without buying or adding to the your Toyland.
- Do a playdate with a friend who’s child has different toys.
- Swap toys with one of your childs friend…let’s say for 2 weeks and then swap them back.
- Some cities offer services which lends books & toys (like a library) with a few dollars membership card. (check in your city)
- Find a local mommy cafe that has a play section for little ones.
- Visit an indoor playground (entry fees will apply).
Hope this helps give you a few ideas.
