Last updated on March 13, 2025
Breaking the Cycle of Bullying: Understanding the Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander
Bullying is an all-too-common issue affecting children and adults alike, creating long-lasting emotional and psychological harm. In the podcast episode “How to Break the Cycle of Bullying… the Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander,” parenting expert Barbara Coloroso shares valuable insights on how to recognize and dismantle the toxic cycle of bullying. She emphasizes that bullying isn’t just about the bully and the victim—it also involves bystanders, who play a crucial role in either reinforcing or stopping harmful behavior. With practical strategies and a deep understanding of human behavior, this episode sheds light on how parents, teachers, and communities can take meaningful action to foster kindness and resilience.
The Reality of Bullying and Why It Persists
Bullying is far more prevalent than many realize. Studies show that nearly 1 in 5 students experience bullying during the school year, with many cases going unreported. The impact extends beyond childhood, as victims of bullying often struggle with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem well into adulthood. One of the most damaging aspects of bullying is the bystander effect—when people witness bullying but fail to intervene out of fear or indifference. This silence enables the bully and isolates the victim. Coloroso stresses that empowering children to be “brave-hearted” rather than passive observers is key to breaking this cycle. By fostering a culture of accountability, empathy, and assertiveness, we can work toward a world where bullying is no longer tolerated as an inevitable part of growing up.
Defend yourself, Don’t fight back!
Barbara Coloroso
In the podcast episode “How to Break the Cycle of Bullying… the Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander” from the Citrus Love podcast, parenting expert Barbara Coloroso discusses strategies to address and prevent bullying. Key points include:
- Understanding the Circle of Bullying: Identifying the roles of the bully, the targeted child, and the bystanders, and how each contributes to the perpetuation of bullying.
- Encouraging Brave-Hearted Individuals: Promoting bravery in children to stand up against bullying, whether they are victims or witnesses, to break the cycle.
- Differentiating Telling vs. Tattling: Teaching children the importance of reporting harmful behavior (telling) as opposed to seeking attention for minor issues (tattling).
- Raising Kind Individuals: Emphasizing the significance of kindness over mere niceness, and how genuine empathy can deter bullying behaviors.
- Effective Conflict Resolution: Providing tools and strategies for parents and children to resolve conflicts constructively without resorting to aggression.
The episode offers actionable insights for parents, educators, and children to collaboratively address and prevent bullying.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE!
Apple Podcast (Leave A Review HERE) / Spotify / Soundcloud / Stitcher
What You’ll Learn In This Episode:
This conversation gets really specific so that you may learn and try her tried and tested and what I’m calling ‘let’s put an end to this bullying’ tools.
Some Things We Talk About:
- The Circle of Bullying
- Passive Supporters
- Telling VS Tattling
- How to raise a brave-hearted child
- Mean vs. Kind …and why being nice is not so nice
- How do you start standing up for yourself against bullies
- She explains the importance of not fighting back
- How to stand strong and why it matters against bullying
- Conflict Resolution
- What to Do & What Not to Do as a parent
- The 4 antidotes to Bullying
- And Much More!
Connect With Our Guest:
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
- Book – The Bully, The bullied & The Not-So-Innocent Bystander: From Preschool to High School and Beyond: Breaking the Cycle of Violence and Creating More Deeply Caring Communities
- FREE Download of Educators –An Essential Guide About Bullying adapted for those who teach, would like to teach, are in teacher training programs, and those who find themselves teaching their children at home during this time of COVID19
- Book – Jes Baker
- Book- The ethics of memory
***Show your support. Sharing Is Caring. Send this episode or website page to a mother or a mother to be you know.***
It’s important to share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. We all need each other to thrive as mothers and parents in this lifelong journey. Share your love, frustrations, favorite takeaways and stories in a respectful way.