Last updated on July 29, 2020
What the images says it will be like…
Have you read the section on breastfeeding yet in that heavy book given to all pregnant mamas… if so, did you seen all those images of how being a new breastfeeding mom will be like…holding your baby, smiling, while lovingly looking at your little bundle of joy, holding him or her and patiently waiting while it finished getting it’s dose of warm milk from your breasts….
Is this more how you experienced breastfeeding…
You spend 30 minutes trying to get your newborn baby to get your nipple in his or her mouth in this now awkward position, your baby is getting fussy because it’s hungry yet you can’t figure out why he or she isn’t able to latch on properly to your nipple, you’re getting frustrated and all the while millions of thoughts are going through your head ‘am I doing this right?, why isn’t it working?, I don’t know if I can do this! is something wrong with me…you might even start to cry at this point being that your body is still flooded with hormones, then your baby might start crying because it’s even getting frustrated and really thirsty…. but you know you can’t stop since right now that’s your baby’s only food. And if your still at the hospital at this point, well maybe you feel pressured get it right as a mom, your firsat act as a mom and you can’t even get it right…what does this mea…why is my body not doing what’s supposed to do… feeding my baby? At this point, the pressure of getting it right just seems like a Mount Everest, which you aren’t trained for…
There are millions of ways this story can or could have gone for you if breastfeeding was indeed a real challenge or never really happened naturally as some might say. You are not alone. So many mothers are too experiencing a less than ideal breastfeeding journey with their baby. A lot more awareness needs to be done around not shaming these mothers (maybe this was you) who aren’t able to feed this ‘natural’ way.
If you thought that you failed at breastfeeding because breastfeeding didn’t come easily for you or your newborn baby well it might not necessarily be because your body failed at it. It might be because the system failed you as a mother.
Breastfeeding Is Not Necessarily A Personal Choice.
Yep, you read it right, although it might be your breast, your milk supply, your baby, your body, in this end game, your are not the sole decision maker on how your baby will get feed. On the contrary, living in a society with specific social structures and an ideal target for marketing strategies by companies (hey it’s easy to sell anything to a new mom) and so, most likely if you are not living deep in the woods and have access to the internet or a doctor’s pamphlet or booklet on motherhood then you’ve been influenced by a few external factors regarding breastfeeding and infant care.
Today’s guest is Kimberly Seals Allers, a mother of two who experienced a quite frustrating and tramautizing start to her mothering during her hospital stay in the state of New York which rapidly catapulted her on a mission to question, to challenge and to disrupst and then reimagine how we talk about birth and breastfeeding and then breaking down the many structural barriers women face in these areas. The goal is to start a new conversation, a new motherhood experience ( as opposed to the idyllic one ) and a counterculture movement in infant feeding.
Kimberly is an award winning journalist…like she’s an amazing well research lady and if you get a chance to read her book ‘The Big Letdown’ (see link in ressources below) then you’ll understand what I mean. She goes all in and isn’t afraid to ruffle a lor of feathers along the way to change motherhooh for the better, for all of us!
Here the 101 that you gotta know about her, she is a divorce mama of 2, proud New Yorker and has been working in well reputable media compagnies for years such as the New York Times, Forbes and also as a Senior Editor at Essence Magazine. She is a frequent contributor for the NYTimes, Washington Post and Huffington Post and has also been featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Cooper Anderson 360 among others… she is a 5 time author, founder of the IRTH APP (see ressources below) and hosts regular online webinars and workshops about controversial issues that need to be addressed about breastfeeding, infant care, birth without bias or maternal health and writing. Plus, her colorful style is trendy frames are a winner in my style book…okay so unrelated to this topic but I really had to mention it to you.
The Big Business Of Infant Formula
”Our breast have become profit centers for pharmaceutical compagnies and breast milk substitute manufacturer who benefit from selling us messages that we will fail.” an excerpt from Allers book The Big Letdown: How Medicine, Big Business, and Feminism Undermine Breastfeeding.
We know that the end goal for formula compagnies is to make money….but since it’s feeding and developing our little babies that first year or two, well as a mother you don’t really think twice about it. The main issue for you if you’re buying baby formula is probably the price and which one to choose from when you’re at the grocery….do you read the ingredient lists or do you look at the label and buy what seems the best fit with words like ‘easy to digest’, ‘closest to breastmilk’ ‘organic’ ‘immune support’ ‘brain & eye development’…..
Feminism Does Not Support Breastfeeding
”The only flaw is that by looking to be equal to men, we forget to fight for the things that make us uniquely women…like our ability to lactate, to birth and produce food for our young.” From Kimberly Seals Allers book The Big Letdown
We all know that feminist or being a feminist if fighting for equal par and equality. But Kimberly shares in her research that it’s soo much more then that, motherhood has been left behind it all. By looking to be considered the same as men, we have forgotten what it means to be a woman, to have this primal power and bodily functions that cannot be ignored by the system, if so then the image of motherhood is being undervalued and more and more mothers are getting isolated, can feel depressed or easily burn out trying to be all and all to everyone …at work, at home and all the in between moments as well. Mental health for mothers is a big thing because the system doesn’t make it a big thing.
I hope you enjoy this bold conversation that will start your own conversation, in your circle of mamas or mothers to be about the realities of breastfeeding for each and every one of you new mothers so that how we view and how society view motherhood to understand your own motherhood better as maybe even bring changes in your city, town, doctor’s office and hospital.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE!
Apple Podcasts (leave a review HERE) / Spotify / Stitcher / Soundcloud
What You’ll Learn In This Episode:
0-6:30 Intro
6:30 When breastfeeding becomes everyone’s business.
9:10 The depth of the research in her book ‘The Big Letdown’
11:30 Each mother has a unique experience with breastfeeding so take note…
13:50 Kimberly’s breastfeeding journey and personal challenges
17:00 Her frustration with the hospital after giving birth.
19:10 Differences in Canadian vs. American mothers feeding experiences.
20:00 The marketing of Infant Formula
22:50 How breastfeeding is not necessarily a personal choice.
25:45 Decline in depression and mental health for mothers
28:00 Less than 5% of women are physically incapable of breastfeeding.
30:30 Hopeful changes in the United States for structural barriers regarding motherhood.
33:00 Changes in breastfeeding interest during the pandemic
34:35 The BIG business of formula feeding
41:10 What your Doctor will tell you and what you should believe…
43:45 If a mother needs support for breastfeeding her child, there is very limited access for her.
47:00 Feminism and Motherhood
51:00 Celebrating mothering during the women’s history month
53:00 Normalizing breastfeeding in our culture.
54:15 What Kimberly hopes to change with her book ‘The Big Letdown’
57:30 The bias against black mothers, the reality in many countries.
1:02:45 Black Breastfeeding Week
1:03:00 The IRTH APP (Coming Fall 2020)
1:06:50 Where you can find more about Kimberly Seals Allers?
1:08:15 The LAST Question
Connect With Our Guest:
- Website-Kimberly Seals Allers
- Website-Birth Without Bias
Ressources Mentioned In This Episode:
- Book – The Big Letdown: How Medicine, Big Business, and Feminism Undermine Breastfeeding
- Online Workshop on writing for change. “Breastfeeding equity needs a new narrative’ Registration opens Friday, July 31
- Webinars
- IRTH APP
- Article – https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/03/13/10-ways-honor-work-motherhood-during-womens-history-month/
If You Liked This Episode ….
Then you might also enjoy listening to these other episodes about breastfeeding and maternal mental health: SAVING YOUR CHILD FROM AN OVERSANITIZED WORLD, ALL ABOUT YOUR ANXIETY, SETTING BOUNDARIES AND LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE
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It’s important to share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. We all need each other to thrive as mothers and parents in this lifelong journey. Share your love, frustrations, favorite takeaways and stories in a respectful way.
Christiane xxx
